Linda Bender, DVM
Today is Saturday, my dog Luna is sitting by my side, staring at me with intense laser focus, reminding me it’s time for our afternoon walk. She understands this is an essential part of our day, non-negotiable. If I become distracted, she is here to get me on track. Hard-wired to understand self-care and the importance of daily routines, her wisdom never lets me down.
Most of us understand that self-care is an essential component in maintaining good health. However, I remember a time when this wasn’t a priority in my life. A quality day was judged by how much could be accomplished from a seemingly endless to-do list, and I admired people whose multi-tasking skills were far better than mine. Success meant cramming in as much as possible into every single day. The stress I felt was palpable, it became overwhelming.
A wise mentor asked me, “Do you want to be a shooting star that shines for a moment then suddenly burns out, or a slower, shining light that endures?” I learned over the years to pay attention, and tune in to a voice in my head whispering, “slow down.” This voice can be very subtle, often drowned out by the louder inner voice screaming, “get it done.”
I recognize and respect the urgent call to do as much as possible to help animals and their habitats, this is my passion. But, I learned that if I don’t make self-care a priority in my life, I’m useless to others. Since NOT helping animals has never been an option for me, I decided to make self-care an essential part of every day so that I can show up as the best version of myself.
However, If you are like me, you might sometimes forget to pause, take a break, and practice self-care. The important thing to know is that you can be equipped with skills and tools to help you get back on track and achieve your goals. As the saying goes, what matters is not how many times we fall down, but rather how many times we get back up.
We are creatures who seek homeostasis, balance, and love – remember to love yourself enough to implement a few new practices that will help you lead a healthier, happier life, allowing you to better serve the animals who need your help.
Here are some practices that help me. Please note that although not included in this list, a healthy diet and getting enough sleep are essential.
Teaching the Mind to Relax
Slow down the “monkey mind” of thought by focusing on your breathing for a few minutes, count breathing in, then count breathing out. Relaxed breath, no need to force. If thoughts arise let them go as you breathe out.
When my mind gets caught up in negative or stress inducing thoughts, I listen to my body. A stiff neck is always my reminder to stop and chill. Stretching, taking a break, a few deep breaths, all help reduce tension before it becomes anxiety. Become aware of these cues.
I have struggled with anxiety most of my life, and as an empathic, highly sensitive person, I have to be aware of the outside energy around me. Being an empath is a blessing but like all blessings it must be honored and managed with care.
Practice patience – In a given situation, rather than a knee jerk reaction in anger, pause, take a deep breath, and respond rather than react. The more you practice this the easier it becomes. Very handy to practice this in traffic and airports.
Daily Routines
When you wake up, give yourself a few minutes of quiet meditation, before you begin your day. Make it a habit, like brushing your teeth, don’t start the day without it.
I have a practice of moving energy during my meditation to ground and balance me. You’ll be amazed how helpful this is, you begin the day in a calm and balanced state of mind.
I drink my morning coffee sitting on a chair that looks out to my small garden. Here I have planted native shrubs and flowers that attract birds, bees, and other wildlife. I have named many of the regulars who come to visit and love to greet them every morning. This simple activity reminds me of the beauty and joy we are offered by the natural world and it sets the tone for my day.
Stretching routines and or yoga exercises help awaken and refresh the body and mind before beginning daily activities.
If you have a canine companion, make time for what I call a “mindful walk” together. As you walk, notice all the sights and sounds around you – birds singing, leaves rustling in the trees and on the ground. Notice the clouds, how they are moving, is there strong wind or stillness. Try keeping your mind in the present moment, as a keen observer of all that is going on around you, without judgement. Also, be mindful of what your companion is experiencing, can you tune in? Often, I let Luna lead the way and notice her gratitude.
The practice of gratitude works wonders for me, it puts so much in perspective. To instantly boost your spirits, close your eyes and bring to mind something that you dearly love, it can be a person, a companion animal, a place, whatever brings joy to your life. It can be as simple as a beautiful tree outside. Notice the feeling of love that awakens in your heart.
Allow that love and joy to flow from your heart, moving outward, throughout your body, nourishing every cell, swirling out and around your entire body and beyond. Stay present in this experience of joy and love for a few minutes. It is your birthright.
In the evening I play music to wash away stress that I have accumulated from the day. I have created a place in my home that is my sacred space, my sweet spot in the universe, a retreat from the noise of the world. It isn’t necessary to spend money and fly to a distant location for retreat. Be creative and find your place at home. It doesn’t need to be big or fancy, it can be as simple as a comfy chair. It will be your personal sweet spot.
I have a simple practice I highly recommend, and that is to have only positive thoughts before going to bed. I’ve been doing this for many years and now it automatically happens. It is possible to allow only good thoughts to occupy our mind before sleep. If there is something weighing heavily on my mind, trying to take over, I have a stack of favorite inspiring books to help out.
Take time to do things that make you happy, whatever that is. I just love birdwatching, and participate whenever time allows. I’m fortunate to live near the ocean and get a kick out of sitting or walking along the beach watching the waterbirds frolic.
Add humor to your day whenever possible. Lord Byron once said, “Always laugh when you can, it’s cheap medicine.” Is there a ridiculous situation that you can flip from annoyance to humor?
Work Wellness
Many of the practices listed above can be practiced at work in an abbreviated version. The practices to help your mind relax can be done most anywhere, without anyone noticing.
If you have time for a break, try to get outdoors even for a few minutes.
It’s helpful to have plants in the workplace. Studies have shown people get along better and are more productive when they have plants on or near their desk.
Don’t skip meals. Bring lunch or at least healthy snacks from home if finding time to sit for a meal is difficult. Many cultures consider lunch the most important meal of the day.
Finally, the most important thing to remember about self-care is knowing when you need self-care. Be mindful of what causes you stress, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
In Conclusion
Today is Saturday and Luna is ready to walk. I know I need a little extra self-care today, so it’s break time and we are off to enjoy our precious time together. This simple thing brings me great joy and a sense of peace, makes me feel more grounded, stronger and centered in my thoughts.
We are part of nature and there are so many ways to experience the joy and healing power of the natural world. I’m reminded of the words spoken by Lame Deer, Sioux medicine man:
“Let’s sit down here, all of us, on the open prairie…. no blankets to sit on, but feel the ground with our bodies, the earth, the yielding shrubs. Let’s have the grass for a mattress, experiencing its sharpness and its softness. Let us become like stones, plants, and trees. Let us be animals, think and feel like animals.”
Lame Deer, Sioux medicine man
I’ve been asked by people who live in large cities what to do. I tell them to look for a park, or simply bring a few houseplants home and sit with them. It’s amazing what you can learn from these beings.
